According to the information provided by Family Mediation St. Albans, The effects of divorce and separation on children and families are complex and long-lasting. The way in which a kid’s parents interact has a significant impact on the coping mechanisms the youngster develops. Children are placed in a setting that is more likely to be stressful if the separation is marked by an increase in the amount of conflict. Children will undoubtedly be affected long-term by their parents’ decision to divorce; however, the emotional upheaval that is caused by conflict will exacerbate the negative impacts that are experienced by children who are caught in the middle of their parents’ divorce proceedings. In light of this, it is essential for the benefit of your children that you reduce the amount of conflict in which you are involved.
As a result of the inevitable dispute that will arise between the spouses throughout the legal procedures, the children may be subjected to an unhealthy and upsetting atmosphere while the divorce is being finalized. Choosing Family Mediation St. Albans rather than going to court is one option for spouses to reduce the likelihood of more conflict and achieve positive results that will last.
Persons who were randomly allocated to traditional litigation in court or mediation for the purpose of one research on mediation followed those people. Remarkable findings were obtained, and beneficial consequences were found for family ties twelve years later. Parents who went through the process of Family Mediation in St. Albans ended up being substantially happier with both the process and the results, and both parents were more active in the lives of their children than other parents who went through the process of litigation. Children, whose parents opted to mediate their divorces, had a greater amount of contact with the parent they did not live with in comparison to children, whose parents chose to litigate their divorces.
After a period of twelve years:
- When opposed to 9 percent of children whose parents went to court, 28 percent of children whose parents used mediation were able to see their non-residential parent once a week.
- 36 percent of litigating non-residential parents had not seen their children in the previous year, but just 16 percent of mediating parents had not seen their children in the same time period.
- Fifty-two percent of parents who resolved their child custody disputes had weekly phone contact with their children, compared to just fourteen percent of litigating parents. Due to the fact that many of the children had moved away or left their childhood homes, these variations in telephone contact were particularly noticeable.
During the sessions of Family Mediation in St. Albans, I assist parents in sorting through and, more significantly, identifying the feelings that they are going through. Those who are in the middle of a fight will frequently feel rage, but this is typically merely what is manifesting itself on the surface. When we investigate this anger further, we find that it is accompanied by feelings of despair and loss. In order for parents to work through their feelings and eventually learn how to control them, it is vital for them to first recognize the variety of emotions that they experience. This, in turn, enables them to become more effective communicators when they are experiencing conflict. Because of the open communication between the parents, the bargaining process will move more smoothly, which will result in a brighter outlook for everyone concerned.
Establishing open communication between the parties engaged in a divorce is one of the most effective strategies to mitigate the detrimental consequences that dispute can have after the conclusion of the legal processes. A family in which the parents are deeply mired in disagreement and the children are frequently caught in the middle is the focus of a project that was recently highlighted in the UK Journal of Family Therapy.
No Kids in the Middle is a project that sought to help children who are caught in the middle of their parents’ divorce by enlisting the assistance of professional counsellors at two locations in the United Kingdom. The goal of the project was to facilitate the resolution of conflict between the children’s parents for the benefit of the children.
The participants that the researchers dealt with were youngsters whose parents frequently involved them in arguments that were related to the dissolution of their marriage. It was found that parents would include their children in conflicts amongst themselves, and the children would either be asked to choose a side in the conflict, or they would have to listen to their parents being criticized in front of them. This polarized setting is stressful and perplexing for children, which results in a context that is less than ideal for the development of children’s emotional health.
The experts who took part in the study did all in their power to persuade the parents to think rationally and cooperate with one another; yet, collaboration was not always attainable. In these instances, they counselled the parents to parent their children on their own, free from the pressure and influence of the other parent; to put it another way, they encouraged the parents to “live and let live.”
If you and your partner are having a lot of arguments, take a step back and think about how the arguing impacts the children in your family. It is easy to find oneself overcome by the emotions of a divorce and, as a result, underestimate the effect that cutting remarks or other forms of passive-aggressive behaviour may have on children who are caught in the middle of the conflict. If these disagreements are hard to gloss over, then parenting the children on your own could be the better option.
The findings of this study provide an essential lesson for married couples who frequently argue: seeking counselling is a very useful resource. It’s possible that the long-term happiness of your children will depend on how much you talk to them in an atmosphere that’s both secure and welcoming.
If you have any inquiries or concerns regarding the mediation process, as well as if you would want to please don’t wait to get in touch with me in order to book a mediation consultation that is provided free of charge.